Inspirational Quotes | Famous Proverbs | Free Moral Stories Online

Death

2009-10-01T18:57:00.000-07:00

Quotes on Death

It;s not that I am afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

Death has got something to be said for it:
There is no need to get out of bed for it.

-Kingsley Amis

Books

2009-10-01T18:54:00.000-07:00

Quotes on Books

A good book is the best of friends, the same to-day and for ever.

-Martin Tupper

All books are divisible into two classes, the books of the hour, and the books of all time.

-John Ruskin

Gratitude

2009-09-17T06:58:00.001-07:00

Story of Gratitude

A boy was drowning in a river and he shouted for help. A man passing by jumped in the river and saved the boy’s life. As the man was leaving the boy said, “Thank you” The man asked, “For what?” The boy replied, “For saving my life.” The man looked into the boy’s eyes and said, “Son, make sure when you grow up that your life was worth saving.”

2009-09-17T06:56:00.000-07:00

Story of making difference

A man was taking a morning walk on the beach. He saw that hundreds of starfish came in with the tide, and when the tide receded, the starfish were left behind on the beach. With the sun’s rays, they would die. The tide had just gone out and the starfish were still alive. The man took a few steps, picked one up, and threw it into the water. He did that repeatedly. Another man came along who couldn’t understand what this man was doing. He asked, “What are you doing? There are hundreds of starfish. How many can you help? What difference does it make?” This man did not reply, took two more steps, picked up another one, threw it into the water, and said, “It makes a difference to this one.”

What difference are we making? Big or small, it does not matter.

Alfred Nobel

2009-09-17T06:55:00.000-07:00

Story of Alfred Nobel

About a hundred years ago, a man looked at the morning newspaper and to his surprise and horror, read his name in the obituary column. The newspapers had reported his death by mistake. His first response was shock. Am I here or there? When he regained his composure, his next thought was to find out what people had said about him. The obituary read, “Dynamite king Dies,” and, “He was the merchant of death.” This man was the inventor of dynamite and when he red the words “merchant of death,” he asked himself, “Is this how I am going to be remembered?” He decided that this was not the way he wanted to be remembered. From that day on, he started working towards peace. He, the Dynamite King, was Alfred Nobel and he is remembered today by the great Nobel Prizes.

Greed

2009-09-17T06:54:00.000-07:00

The Greedy King

We all know the story of the greedy king named Midas. He had a lot of gold and the more he had, the more he wanted. He would spend his days in his vaults counting his gold.

One day a stranger appeared and told king Midas he would grant him a wish. The king was delighted and immediately said: “I would like everything I touch to turn to gold.” The stranger asked the king, “Are you sure?” The king replied, “Yes.” So the stranger said, “Starting tomorrow morning, with the first rays of the sun, you will have the golden touch.”

The king thought he must have been dreaming that this couldn’t be true. But the next day when we woke up, he touched the bed and it turned to gold. It was true – everything he touched did turn to gold. He looked out of the window and saw his daughter playing in the garden. He decided to give her a surprise and thought she would be happy. But before he went to the garden, he decided to read a book. The moment he touched it, it turned into gold and he couldn’t read it. He sat down to breakfast and the moment he touched the fruit and the glass of water, they turned to gold. He was hungry and he said to himself, “I can’t eat and drink gold.” Just then his daughter came running into the room and King Midas hugged her and she turned into a gold statue. There were no more smiles left.

The king bowed his head and started crying. The stranger who had granted him the wish appeared again and asked the king if he was happy with his golden touch. The king said he was the most miserable man in the world. The stranger asked, “What would you rather have, food and loving daughter or lumps of gold and her golden statue?” The king cried and asked for forgiveness. He said, “I will give up all my gold. Please give me my daughter back because without her I have lost everything worth having.” The stranger said to the king, “You have become wiser than before” and he reversed the spell. King Midas got his daughter back in his arms and the king learned a lesson that he never forgot for the rest of his life.

Goal

2009-09-17T06:53:00.000-07:00

Story of Goal

An ancient Indian age was teaching his disciples the art of archery. He put a wooden bird as the target and asked his disciples to aim at the eye of the bird. The first disciple was asked to describe what he saw. He said, “I see the trees, the branches, the leaves, the sky, the bird and its eye.”

The sage asked this disciple to wait. Then he asked the second disciple the same question and he replied, “I only see the eye of the bird.” The sage said, “Very good. Now shoot.” The went straight and hit the eye of the bird.”

Empathy

2009-09-17T06:51:00.000-07:00

Story of Sympathy and Empathy

A boy went to the pet store to buy a puppy. Four puppies were sitting together, priced at $50 each. Then there was one sitting alone in a corner. The boy asked if that was from the same litter, if it was for sale, and why it was sitting alone. The store owner replied that it was from the same litter and that was a deformed one, and not for sale.

The boy asked what the deformity was. The store owner replied that the puppy was born without a hip socket and had a leg missing. The boy asked, “What will you do with this one?” The reply was it would be put to sleep. The boy asked if he could play with that puppy. The store owner said, “Sure” The boy picked the puppy up and the puppy licked him on the ear. Instantly the boy decided that was the puppy he wanted to buy. The store owner said, “That is not for Sale!” The boy insisted.

The store owner agreed. The boy pulled out $2 from his pocket and ran to get $48 from his mother. As he reached the door the store owner shouted after him, “I don’t understand why you would pay full money for this one when you could buy a good one for the same price.” The boy didn’t say a word. He just lifted his left trouser leg and he was wearing a brace. The pet store owner said, “I understand. Go ahead, take this one.” This is empathy.

Humility

2009-09-17T06:50:00.000-07:00

Story of Humility and Success

Many years ago, a rider came across some soldiers who were trying to move a heavy log without success. The corporal was standing by as the men struggled. The rider asked the corporal why he wasn’t helping. The corporal replied, “I am the corporal; I give orders.” The rider dismounted, went up to the soldiers and helped them lift the log. With his help, the log got moved. The rider quietly mounted his horse and went to the corporal and said, “The next time your men need help, send for the Commander-in-Chief.” After he left, the corporal and his men found out that the rider was George Washington.

Exaggeration

2009-09-17T06:49:00.001-07:00

Story of Exaggeration

There was a sailor who worked on the same boat for three years. One night he got drunk. This was the first time it had ever happened. The captain recorded it in the log, “The sailor was drunk tonight.” The sailor read it, and he knew this comment would affect his career, so he went to the captain, apologized and asked the captain to add that it only happened once in three years because that was the complete truth. The captain refused and said, “What I have written in the log is the truth.”

The next day it was the sailor’s turn to fill in the log. He wrote, “The captain was sober tonight.” The captain read the comment and asked the sailor to change or add to it explaining the complete truth because this implied that the captain was drunk every other night. The sailor told the captain that what he had written in the log was the truth.

Both statements were true but they conveyed misleading messages.

Credibility

2009-09-17T06:47:00.000-07:00

Story of Credibility

Everyone knows the story of the shepherd boy who cried wolf. The boy decided to have some fun at the expense of the villagers. He shouted, “Help, help, the wolf is here.” The villagers heard him and came to his rescue. But when they got there, they saw no wolf and the boy laughed at them. They went away. The next day, the boy played the same trick and the same thing happened.

Then one day, while the boy was taking care of his sheep he actually saw a wolf and shouted for help. The people in the village heard him but this time nobody came to his rescue. They thought it was another trick and didn’t trust him anymore. He lost his sheep to the wolf.

When you tell lies, you lose credibility
Once you have lost credibility, even when you tell the truth, no one believes you.

Honest

2009-09-17T06:46:00.000-07:00

Story on Honesty

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to a baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and found he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court. The judge asked the farmer how he was measuring the butter he was selling. The farmer replied, “Your Honor, I am primitive. I don’t have a proper measure, but I do have a scale.” The judge asked, ‘Then how do you weigh the butter?” The farmer replied “Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker.” We get back in life what we give to others.

Forgive

2009-09-17T06:41:00.000-07:00

Story of forgiving

Jim and Jerry had been childhood friends but for whatever reasons, the relationship fell apart and they hadn’t spoken for 25 years. Jerry was on his deathbed and didn’t want to enter eternity with a heavy heart. So he called Jim, apologized and said, “Let’s forgive each other and be done for the past.” Jim thought it was a good idea and went to visit Jerry at the hospital.

They spent a couple of hours together catching up on the last 25 years – and patching up their differences. As Jim was leaving, Jerry shouted from behind, “Jim, just in case I don’t die; remembers, this forgiveness doesn’t count.” Life is too short to hold grudges. It is not worth it.

2009-09-16T19:29:00.000-07:00

Be careful about your words

A farmer slandered his neighbor. Realizing his mistake, he went to the preacher to ask for forgiveness. The preacher told him to take a bag of feathers and drop them in the center of town. The farmer did as he was told. Then the preacher asked him to go and collect the feathers and put them back in the bag. The farmer tried but couldn't as the feathers had all blown away. When he returned with the empty bag, the preacher said, "The same thing is true about your words. You dropped them rather easily but you cannot retrieve them. You need to be very careful in choosing your words."

A win-win story

2009-09-16T19:22:00.000-07:00

A man died and st. Peter asked him if he would like to go to heaven or hell. The man asked if he could see both before deciding. St. Peter took him to hell first. There the man saw a big hall containing a long table, laden with many kinds of food. He also saw rows of people with pale, sad faces. They looked starved and there was no laughter. And he observed one more thing; Their hands were tied to four-foot forks and knives and they were trying to get the food from the center of the table to put their mouths. But they couldn't.

Then St. Peter took him to see heaven. There he saw a big hall with a long table, with lots of food. He noticed rows of people on both sides of the table with their hands tied to four-foot forks and knives also. But here people were laughing and were well fed and healthy-looking. The people were feeding one another across the table. The result was happiness, prosperity, enjoyment and gratification because they were not thinking of themselves alone; they were thinking win-win. The same is true of our lives. When we serve our customers, our families, our employees, we automatically win.

2009-09-16T19:18:00.000-07:00

Story of Consideration

A ten-year old boy went to an ice-cream shop, sat at a table, and asked the waitress, "How much is an ice-cream cone?" She said, "seventy-five cents." The body started counting the coins he had in his hand. Then asked how much a small cup of ice-cream was. The waitress impatiently replied, "sixty-five cents." The boy said, "I will have the small ice-cream cup."

The boy ate his ice-cream, paid the bill, and left. When the waitress came to pick up the empty plate, she was touched. Underneath were ten one-cent coins left as the tip. The young boy had consideration for the waitress before he ordered his ice-cream. He showed sensitivity and caring. He thought of others before himself.

2009-09-16T19:12:00.000-07:00

Life is an Echo

A little boy got angry with his mother and shouted at her, "I hate you, I hate you." Because of fear of reprimand, he ran out of the house. He went up to the valley and shouted, "I hate you, I hate you," and the echo returned, "I hate you, I hate you." Having never heard an echo before, he was scared, and ran to his mother for protection. He said there was a bad boy in the valley who shouted "I hate you, I hate yo." The mother understood and she asked the son to go back and shout, "I love you, I love you." The little boy went and shouted, "I love you, I love you," and back came the echo. That taught the little boy a lesson - that our life an echo: we get back what we give.

Wilma Rudolph

2009-09-16T19:00:00.000-07:00

Story of Wilma Rudolph

Wilma Rudolph was born into a poor home in Tennessee. At age four, she had double pnemonia with scarlet fever, a deadly combination which left her paralyzed with polio. She had to wear a brace and the doctor said she would never put her foot on the earth. But her mother encouraged her, she told wilma that with god-given ability, persistence and faith she could do anything she wanted. Wilma said, "I want to be the fastest woman on the track on this earth." At the age of nine, against the advice of the doctors, she removed the brace and took the first step the doctors had said she never would. At the age of 13, she entered her first race and came way, way last. And then she entered her second, and third and fourth and came way, way last until a day came when she came in first.

At the age of 15 she went to Tennesee State University where she met a coach by the name of Ed Temple. She told him, "I want to be the fastest woman on the track on this earth." Temple said, "With your spirit nobody can stop you and besides, I will help you."

The day came when she was at the Olympics and at the Olympics you are matched with the best of the best. Wilma was matched against a woman named Jutta Heine who had never been beaten. The first event was the 100-meter race. Wilma beat Juta Heine and won her first gold medal. The second event was the 200-meter race and Wilma beat Jutta a second time and won her second gold medal. The third event was the 400-meter relay and she was racing against Juta one more time. In the relay, the fastest person always runs the last lap and they both anchored their teams. The first three people ran and changed the baton easily. But Wilma saw Jutta shoot up at the other end; she picked the baton, ran like a machine, beat jutta a third time and won her third gold medal. It became a history: That a paralytic woman became the fastest woman on this earch at the 1960 Olympics.

2009-08-31T09:07:00.000-07:00

Story of Belief and Faith

A flood was threatening a small town and everyone was leaving for safe ground except for on man who said, "God will save me. I have faith." As the water level rose a jeep came to rescue him, the man refused, saying "God will save me. I have faith." As the water level rose further, he went up to the second story of his house, and a boat came to help him. Again he refused to go, saying, "God will save me. I have faith." The water kept rising and the man climbed on to the roof. A helicopter came to rescue him, but he said, "God will save me. I have faith." Well, finally he drowned.

When he reached his maker he angrily questioned, "I had complete faith in you. Why did you ignore my prayers and let me down?" The lord replied, "Who do you think sent you the jeep, the boat and the helicopter?"

2009-08-30T19:12:00.000-07:00

Story on selfishness and greed

A wealthy farmer was once offered all the land he could walk on in a day provided he returned by sunset to the point at which he started. To get a head start, early the next morning, the farmer started covering ground quickly because he wanted to get as much land as he could. Even though he was tired, he kept going all afternoon because he didn't want to lose this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to gain more wealth.

Late in the afternoon, he remembered that the condition he had to fulfil to get the land was to get back to the starting point by sundown. His greed had gotten him far from the starting point. He started his return journey, keeping an eye on how close he was to sunset. The closer it got to sunset, the faster he ran. He was exhausted and out of breath, and he pushed himself beyond the point of endurance. He collapsed upon reaching the starting point and died. He did make it before sunset. He was buried and all the land he need was a small plot.

Whether the farmer was wealthy or not, any greedy person would have ended the same way.

2009-08-30T19:05:00.000-07:00

Story of the Lark

Once there was a lark singing in the forest. A farmer came by with a box full of worms. The lark stopped him and asked. "What do you have in the box and where are you going?" The farmer replied that he had worms and that he was going to the market to trade them fro some feathers. The lark said, "I have many feathers. I will pluck on and give it to you and that will save me looking for worms." The farmer gave the worms to the lark and the lark plucked a feather and gave it in return. The next day the same thing happened and the day after and on and on until a day came that the lark had no more feathers. Now it could no longer fly to go hunting for worms. It started looking ugly and stopped singing and very soon it died.

Many times we look for the easier way, which really ends up being the tougher way.

2009-08-30T18:57:00.000-07:00

No Free Lunch Story

A king called his advisers and asked them to write down the wisdom of the ages so that he could pass it on to future generations. After a lot of work, the advisers came up with several volumes of wisdom and presented them to the king. The king called his advisers and said that it was too long and that people would not read it. The king told his advisers they would have to condense it. The advisers went back to work and came back with one volume. The king said it was still too long so they came back again with one chapter; again it was too long. Even one page was too long, said the king.

Finally, the advisers brought back one sentence that satisfied the king. He said that if there was one piece of wisdom that he wanted to pass on to future generations, it would be: "There is no free lunch."

2009-08-30T18:52:00.000-07:00

Story on work ethics

Three people were laying bricks. A passerby asked them what they were doing. The first one replied, "Don't you see I am making a living?" The second one said, "Don't you see I am laying bricks?" The third one said, "I am building a beautiful monument."

Here were three people doing the same thing who had totally different perspectives on what they were doing. They had three very different attitudes about their work. And would their attitude affect their performance?

The answer is clearly yes

2009-08-30T18:47:00.000-07:00

Story on Responsibility

The retiring president of a company after a standard farewell, gave two envelopes marked No. 1 and No. 2 to the incoming president, and said, "Whenever you run into a management crisis you cannot handle by yourself, open envelope No. 1. At the next crisis, open the second one."

A few years later, a major crisis came. The president went into the safe and pulled out the first envelope. It said, "Blame it on your predecessor." A few years later a second crisis came. The president went for the second envelope, and it said, "Prepare two envelopes for your successor."

2009-08-30T18:32:00.000-07:00

Secret to success

A young man asked Socrates the secret to success. Socrates told the young man to meet him near the river the next morning. They met. Socrates asked the young man to walk with him toward the river. When the water got up to their necks, Socrates took the young man by surprise and dunked him under the water. The boy struggled to get out but Socrates was strong and held him down.

When the boy started turning blue, Socrates raised the boy's head out of the water. The first thing the young man did was to gasp and take a deep breath of air. Socrates asked, "What did you want the most when you were under water?" The boy replied, "Air." Socrates said, "That is the secret to success. When you want success as intensely as you wanted air under water, then you will have it." There is no other secret to success.

2009-08-30T08:46:00.000-07:00

Life story of Thomas Alva Edison

In 1914, Thomas Edison, at age 67, lost his factory to fire. It had very little insurance. No longer a young man, Edison watched his lifetime effort go up in smoke and said, "There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burnt up. Thank God we can start anew." In spited of disaster, three weeks later, he invented the phonograph. What an attitude!

2009-08-30T08:39:00.000-07:00

Story of Thomas Alva Edison

One day a partially deaf four-year-old child came home with a note in his pocket from his teacher, "Your Tommy is too stupid to learn, get him out of the school." His mother read the note and answered, "My Tommy is not too stupid to learn, I will teach him myself." And that Tommy grew-up to be the great Thomas Alva Edison. Edison had only three months of formal schooling.

2009-08-30T08:27:00.001-07:00

Story on success strategy

A priest was driving when he saw an exceptionally beautiful farm. He stopped at the edge of the field, got out, and stood quietly, appreciating the bountiful crop. The farmer was riding on his tractor and saw the priest. He drove over to where the priest was standing. The priest said to him, "God has blessed you with a beautiful farm. You should be grateful for it."

The farmer replied, "Yes, God has blessed me with a beautiful farm and I am grateful for it, but you should have seen this farm when God had the whole farm to himself!"

The lesson from this story: Success is not an accident. It is the result of your attitude. Hence success is a matter of choice and not chance.

2009-08-30T08:18:00.000-07:00

Story of the Eagle and Chicken

An eagle's egg was placed in the nest of a prairie chicken. The egg hatched and the little eagle grew up thinking it was a prairie chicken. The eagle did what the prairie chickens did. It scratched in the dirt for seeds. It clucked and cackled. It never flew more than a few feet because that is what the prairie chickens did.

One day he saw an eagle flying gracefully and majestically in the open sky. He asked the prairie chickens: "What is that beautiful bird?" The chickens replied, "That is an eagle. He is an outstanding bird, but you cannot fly like him because you are just a prairie chicken."

So the eagle never gave it second thought, believing that to be the truth. He lived the life of and died a prairie chicken, depriving himself of his heritage because of his lack of vision. A great waste! He was born to win, but conditioned to lose.

2009-08-30T08:14:00.000-07:00

Story on positive attitude

man was washing his new car when his neighbor asked his, "When did you get the car?" He replied "My brother gave it to me." The neighbor said, "I wish I had a car like that.". The man replied, "You should wish to have a brother like that." The neighbor's wife was listening to the conversation and she interrupted, "I wish I was a brother like that." Excellent attitude!

2009-08-30T08:05:00.000-07:00

Story on commonsense

Smith, a woodcutter, worked for a company for five years but never got a raise. The company hired Peter and within a year he got a raise. Then smith resented Peter's getting a raise after only a year and went to his boss to talk about it. The boss said, "You are still cutting the same number of trees you were cutting five years ago. We are a result-oriented company and would be happy to give you a raise if your productivity goes up."

Smith went back, started hitting harder and putting in longer hours but he still wasn't able to cut more trees. He went back to his boss and told him his dilemma. The boss told john to go talk to Peter. "Maybe there is something Peter knows that you and I don't."

Smith asked Peter how he managed to cut more trees. Peter answered, "After every tree I cut, I take a break for two minutes and sharpen my axe. When was the last time you Sharpened you axe?"

2009-08-30T07:50:00.000-07:00

Story on Education

Some animals in a forest decided to start a school. The students included a bird, a squirrel, a dog, a rabbit and a mentally retarded eel. A board was formed to determine the curriculum and it was decided that flying, tree climbing, swimming, and burrowing would give a broad-based education. All animals were required to take all subjects.

The bird was excellent at flying and was getting A's but when it came to burrowing, it kept breaking its beak and wings and started failing. Pretty soon, it started making C's in flying and, of course, in tree climbing and swimming it was getting F's. The squirrel was great at tree climbing, but was failing in swimming. The fish was the best swimmer but couldn't get out of the water and thus got F's in everything else. The dog didn't join the school, stopped paying taxes, and kept fighting with the administration to include barking as a part of curriculum. The rabbit got A's in burrowing but tree climbing was a real problem. It kept falling and landing on its head, suffered brain damage, and soon couldn't even burrow properly and got C's in that too.

The mentally retarded eel, who did everything half as well, became the valedictorian of the class. The board was happy because everybody was getting a broad-based education.

2009-08-30T07:44:00.000-07:00

Story of the Hunter

There was a hunter who bought an amazing bird dog. This on-of-a-kind dog could walk on water. The hunter was looking forward to showing off his new acquisition to his friends. He invited a friend to go duck hunting. After some time, they shot a few ducks and the man ordered his dog to fetch the birds. All day long, whenever there were birds to be fetched, the dog ran on water to retrieve the birds. The owner was expecting his friend to comment or compliment him about this amazing dog, but never got one. As they were returning home, he asked his friend if he had noticed anything unusual about his dog. The friend replied, "Yes, in fact, I did notice something unusual. Your dog can't swim."

2009-08-30T07:38:00.000-07:00

Andrew Carnegie

Andrew Carnegie came to America from Scotland as a young boy. He started out by doing odd jobs and ended up as one of the largest steel manufacturers in United States. At one time, he had 43 millionaires working for him. A million dollars is a lot of money today, but in the 1920s it was worth much more.

Someone once asked Mr. Carnegie how he dealt with people. Andrew Carnegie replied, "Dealing with people is a lot like digging for gold: When you go digging for an ounce of gold you have to move tons of dirt. But when you go digging, you don't go looking for the dirt, you go looking for the gold."

Andrew Carnegie's reply has a very important message. Though sometimes it may not be apparent there is something positive in every person and every situation. We have to dig deep to look for the positive. This is the finest story on positive attitude.

Actors and Acting

2009-08-14T00:25:00.000-07:00

A character actor is one who cannot act and therefore makes an elaborate study of disguise and stage tricks by which acting can be grotesquely simulated.
- Attributed to George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950), Irish playwright.

Acting in English...I'm like a blind man. When you can't see, you develop other senses. In one sense I am blind, but other faculties develop by way of compensation: the sense of hearing, of morbid curiosity, of tolerance. These are the ways you communicate if you don't speak the language.
- Gérard Depardieu (1948 - ), French actor.
The Observer (London)

Acting is the expression of a neurotic impulse. It's a bum's life. Quitting acting, that's the sign of maturity.
- Marlon Brando (1924 - ), U.S. actor.

Acting is the most minor of gifts. After all, Shirley Temple could do it when she was four.
- Attributed to Katharine Hepburn (1907 - ), U.S. actor.

Acting is therefore the lowest of the arts, if it is an art at all.
- George Moore (1852 - 1933), Irish writer.
Impressions and Opinions, "Mummer-Worship"

Acting, of course, is a good way to keep fit as you are on your feet walking around the rehearsal room all day.
- Antony Sher (1949 - ), South African-born British actor.
The Sunday Times (London)

Actors should be treated like cattle.
- Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980)
British-born U.S. film director.Said in clarification of a remark attributed to him, "Actors are like cattle."

Ah, every day dear Herbert becomes de plus en plus Oscarié. It is a wonderful case of nature imitating art.
- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900), Irish poet, playwright, and wit.Referring to Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree's unconscious adoption of some of the mannerisms of a character he was playing in one of Wilde's plays.

Ah, the sex thing. I'm glad that part of my life is over.
- Attributed to Greta Garbo (1905 - 1990), Swedish-born U.S. film actor.

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
- Charlie Chaplin (1889 - 1977), British actor and director.
My Autobiography

All people are actors, but where do we find them a repertoire?
- Stanislaw Lec (1909 - 1966), Polish writer.

All Stanislavsky ever said was: "Avoid generalities."
- Anthony Hopkins (1937 - ), Welsh stage and motion picture actor.Referring to Konstantin Stanislavsky.
Films Illustrated

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal—falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox.
- Attributed to François Truffaut (1932 - 1984), French film director and screenwriter.

An actor is something less than a man while an actress is something more than a woman.
- Richard Burton (1925 - 1984), Welsh-born British actor.

An actor's a guy who, if you ain't talking about him, ain't listening.
- Marlon Brando (1924 - ), U.S. actor.
Observer (London), "Sayings of the Year"

An actress's life is so transitory—suddenly you're a building!
- Helen Hayes (1900 - 1993), U.S. actor.Referring to the Broadway theater named in her honor.
Remark on NBC television

Any little pinhead who makes one picture is called a "star."
- Attributed to Humphrey Bogart (1899 - 1957), U.S. actor."Picture" in this context refers to a motion picture.

Bergman taught me how little you can do, rather than how much.
- Liv Ullmann (1939 - ), Japanese-born Norwegian actor and director.Referring to Ingmar Bergman.
Time

Blank face is fine. The computer works faster than the brain, don't forget. The art of acting is not to act. Once you show them more, what you show them, in fact, is bad acting.
- Anthony Hopkins (1937 - ), Welsh stage and motion picture actor.
Knave

Bogart's a helluva nice guy till 11.30 p.m. After that he thinks he's Bogart.
- Dave Chausen, U.S. restaurateur.Referring to Humphrey Bogart.

But the Lear of Shakespeare cannot be acted...the play is beyond all art, as the tamperings with it show: it is too hard and stony; it must have love scenes and a happy ending.
- Attributed to Charles Lamb (1775 - 1834), British essayist.Referring to Shakespeare's tragedy King Lear, and the late 17th-century and 18th-century trend to revise Shakespeare's tragedies by giving them happy endings. The most distinguished proponent of this was poet laureate Nahum Tate, whose widely performed Tate's Lear (a revision of King Lear), ended with Cordelia marrying Edgar.

Can't act. Can't sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little.
- Anonymous, Referring to Fred Astaire's first screen test.
MGM studio report

Clark Gable has the best ears of our lives.
- Attributed to Milton Berle (1908 - 2002), U.S. film and television entertainer.

Directing her was like directing Lassie. You needed fourteen takes to get each one of them right.
- Attributed to Otto Preminger (1906 - 1986), Austrian-born U.S. film director and producer.Referring to directing Marilyn Monroe.

Don't Put Your Daughter on the Stage, Mrs Worthington
- Noel Coward (1899 - 1973), British dramatist, actor, and songwriter.Song title.

Even the youngest of us will know, in fifty years' time, exactly what we mean by "a very Noel Coward sort of person."
- Kenneth Tynan (1927 - 1980), British theater critic.
Curtains

Every actor in his heart believes everything bad that's printed about him.
- Attributed to Orson Welles (1915 - 1985), U.S. actor, director, producer, and writer.

Every actor should direct at least once. It gives you a tolerance, an understanding of the problems involved in making a film. In fact every director should act.
- Clint Eastwood (1930 - ), U.S. film actor and director.
Playboy

Everyone denies I am a genius—but nobody ever called me one!
- Attributed to Orson Welles (1915 - 1985), U.S. actor, director, producer, and writer.

For an actress to be a success she must have the face of Venus, the brains of Minerva, the grace of Terpsichore, the memory of Macaulay, the figure of Juno, and the hide of a rhinoceros.
- Ethel Barrymore (1879 - 1959), U.S. actor.

For the theatre one needs long arms; it is better to have them too long than too short. An artiste with short arms can never, never make a fine gesture.
- Sarah Bernhardt (1844 - 1923), French actor and theater manager.
Memories of My Life

Funny without being vulgar.
- Attributed to W. S. Gilbert (1836 - 1911), British librettist and playwright, 1893.Referring to Sir Henry Irving's Hamlet.

Garrick was pure gold beat out into thin leaf.
- Attributed to James Boswell (1740 - 1795), Scottish lawyer and biographer.Referring to David Garrick.

Gimme a viskey. Ginger ale on the side. And don't be stingy, baby.
- Greta Garbo (1905 - 1990), Swedish-born U.S. film actor.
Anna Christie

HAMLET O what a rogue and peasant slave am I!
Is it not monstrous that this player here,
But in a fiction, in a dream of passion,
Could force his soul so to his own conceit
Tears in his eyes, distraction in his aspect,
A broken voice, and his whole function suiting
With forms to his conceit? And all for nothing.
- William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), English poet and playwright.
Hamlet Act 2, Scene 2

HAMLET Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced it to you, trippingly on the tongue; but if you mouth it, as many of your players do, I had as lief the town-crier spoke my lines. Nor do not saw the air too much with your hand, thus; but use all gently: for in the very torrent, tempest, and—as I may say—whirlwind of passion, you must acquire and beget a temperance, that may give it smoothness. O! it offends me to the soul to hear a robustious periwig-pated fellow tear a passion to tatters, to very rags, to split the ears of the groundlings, who for the most part are capable of nothing but inexplicable dumb-shows and noise: I would have such a fellow whipped for o'erdoing Termagant; it out-herods Herod: pray you, avoid it.
- William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), English poet and playwright.
Hamlet Act 3, Scene 2

Have patience with the jealousies and petulance of actors, for their hour is their eternity.
- Attributed to Richard Garnett (1835 - 1906), British writer and librarian.

He had the metabolism of a falcon. He burnt ideas so quickly...He'd start walking up and down, smoking his cigar and, in a minute, he'd be changing it into another idea...in the end he was telling a different story and possible film.
- Fernando Rey (1915 - 1994), Spanish film actor.Referring to Orson Welles.
Knave

He was a star who had no pretensions, something rare in an actor...He was a generous man and he had beautiful manners. He was also Bohemian and wild, which was fun.
- Attributed to John Gielgud (1904 - 2000), British actor and producer.Referring to the British actor Trevor Howard.

He's the kind of guy that when he dies, he gives God a bad time for making him bald.
- Marlon Brando (1924 - ), U.S. actor.Referring to Frank Sinatra.
Daily Mail (London)

His ears make him look like a taxi-cab with both doors open.
- Attributed to Howard Hughes (1905 - 1976), U.S. business executive, pilot, and film producer.Referring to Clark Gable.

Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.
- Marilyn Monroe (1926 - 1962), U.S. film actor.

Humphrey Bogart was a brilliant smoker. He taught generations how to hold a cigarette, how to inhale, how to squint through the smoke. But as a kisser, Bogart set an awful example. His mouth addressed a woman's lips with the quivering nibble of a horse closing in on an apple.
- Lance Morrow, U.S. journalist.
Fishing in the Tiber, "Changing the Gestures of Passion"

I am, as you may observe, acting again...Our theatre is going on, to the astonishment of everybody. Very few of the actors are paid, and all are vowing to withdraw themselves: yet still we go on. Sheridan is certainly omnipotent.
- Sarah Siddons (1755 - 1831), English actor.
Letter

I appreciate teamwork. I don't like a one-man show. I'm an interpreter, a sort of tool—I don't mean an object. The right tool is quite essential. Try pounding a nail in with a screwdriver.
- Attributed to Gérard Depardieu (1948 - ), French actor.Publicity release for Cyrano de Bergerac (1990).

I cast actors from rock because they're sensitive to what people want. They're performers. Their antennas are screwed on right. They don't mind getting right in there and having a go at the truth.
- Oshima Nagisa (1932 - ), Japanese film director.
Photoplay

I decided to use the masks so I didn't have the humiliation of going on stage and being myself.
- David Bowie (1947 - ), British pop singer.Referring to his use of stage personae in his concert performances.

I do not act in the play; I am action.
- Mou Sen, Chinese theater director.

I don't go around saying: "Hello, did you know I'm the new Olivier?"
- Kenneth Charles Branagh (1960 - ), Irish-born British actor and film director.
Newsweek

I enjoy being a highly overpaid actor.
- Attributed to Roger Moore (1927 - ), British film actor.

I have often heard it said, That an actor can instruct a priest.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832), German poet, playwright, and scientist.
Faust

I left the screen because I didn't want what happened to Chaplin to happen to me. When he discarded the little tramp, the little tramp turned around and killed him.
- Mary Pickford (1893 - 1979), U.S. actor and film producer.Referring to Charlie Chaplin.

I love the camera and it loves me. Well, not very much sometimes. But we're good friends.
- Attributed to Dirk Bogarde (1921 - 1999), British actor and novelist.

I made mistakes in drama. I thought drama was when actors cried. But drama is when the audience cries.
- Frank Capra (1897 - 1991), Italian-born U.S. film director.
Cinemas No 12, Antenne 2 (French television)

I never accept lengthy film roles nowadays, because I am always so afraid I will die in the middle of shooting and cause such awful problems.
- John Gielgud (1904 - 2000), British actor and producer.
The Independent (London)

I never realized before that Albert married beneath him.
- Noel Coward (1899 - 1973), British dramatist, actor, and songwriter, 1964.After seeing a certain actor in the role of Queen Victoria.

I never said, "I want to be alone." I only said, "I want to be left alone." There is all the difference.
- Greta Garbo (1905 - 1990), Swedish-born U.S. film actor, 1955.

I never use professional actors nowadays...For in my opinion the moment actors assume certain expressions, the result cannot be true cinema, only filmed theater.
- Robert Bresson (1907 - ), French filmmaker.
Montreal Star, Interview

I was born at the age of twelve on a Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer lot.
- Judy Garland (1922 - 1969), U.S. film actor and singer.
The Observer (London), "Sayings of the Week"

I went into show business strictly from hunger. Starvation helps to turn you into a good actor, I guess.
- James Cagney (1899 - 1986)
U.S. actor.

I would just like to mention Robert Houdini who in the eighteenth century invented the vanishing bird-cage trick and the theater matinée—may he rot and perish. Good afternoon.
- Orson Welles (1915 - 1985), U.S. actor, director, producer, and writer.Addressing the audience at the end of a matinée performance.

If it's a good script, I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.
- George Burns (1896 - 1996), U.S. comedian and actor.

If you ask me to play myself, I will not know what to do. I do not know who or what I am.
- Attributed to Peter Sellers (1925 - 1980), British comic actor.

If you have a good part in a hit, your whole life will change, you will become a success, and you will pay a price for that success. You will play the same part all the rest of your life under different names.
- George Abbott (1887 - 1995), U.S. director, producer, playwright, and actor.

I'm an actor. An actress is someone who wears feather boas.
- Sigourney Weaver (1949 - ), U.S. actor.
American Film

I'm not interested in making an assessment of myself and stripping myself for the general public to view.
- Marlon Brando (1924 - ), U.S. actor.

In a non-permissive age, she made remarkable inroads against the taboos of her day, and did so without even lowering her neckline.
- Leslie Halliwell (1929 - 1989), British film critic.Referring to Mae West.
The Filmgoer's Book of Quotes

In music, the punctuation is absolutely strict, the bars and the rests are absolutely defined. But our punctuation cannot be quite strict, because we have to relate it to the audience. In other words, we are continually changing the score.
- Ralph Richardson (1902 - 1983), British actor.
Observer Magazine (London), "Tynan on Richardson"

It is easier to get an actor to be a cowboy than to get a cowboy to be an actor.
- Attributed to John Ford (1894 - 1973), U.S. filmmaker.

It is the strength to resist the extraneous that renders acting powerful and beautiful.
- David Mamet (1947 - ), U.S. writer and film director.
A Whore's Profession: Notes and Essays, "Some Lessons from Television"

It sounds pompous, but it's the nearest thing I can do to being God. I'm trying to create human beings and so does He.
- Attributed to Rod Steiger (1925 - ), U.S. film actor.

It was like going to the dentist making a picture with her. It was hell at the time, but after it was all over, it was wonderful.
- Billy Wilder (1906 - 2002), Austrian-born U.S. film director and screenwriter.Referring to Marilyn Monroe.

It's not whether you really cry. It's whether the audience thinks you are crying.
- Attributed to Ingrid Bergman (1915 - 1982), Swedish actor.

It's one of the tragic ironies of the theater that only one man in it can count on steady work—the night watchman.
- Tallulah Bankhead (1903 - 1968), U.S. actor.
Tallulah

It's very hard for an actor to open his gob without whatever he says sounding risible. If you even whisper a murmur of complaint, you're labelled a po-faced git who can't see the funny side of things.
- Attributed to Kenneth Charles Branagh (1960 - ), Irish-born British actor and film director.

I've made so many movies playing a hooker that they don't pay me in the regular way any more. They leave it on the dresser.
- Shirley MacLaine (1934 - ), U.S. actor, dancer, and author.
Out on a Limb

I've played everything but the harp.
- Attributed to Lionel Barrymore (1878 - 1954), U.S. actor.When asked what words he would like engraved on his tombstone.

James Dean was the strongest influence on any actor that ever stepped in front of the camera. Ever.
- Martin Sheen (1940 - ), U.S. actor.

John Wayne is dead.
The hell I am.
- Anonymous, Inscription on a wall in Bermondsey Antique Market, London, together with a ghostly denial.
Evening Standard (London)

Just say your lines and don't trip over the furniture.
- Noel Coward (1899 - 1973), British dramatist, actor, and songwriter.Advice for actors.
Speech, Gallery First-Nighters' Club

Ladies, just a little more virginity, if you don't mind.
- Attributed to Herbert Beerbohm Tree (1853 - 1917), British actor and theatrical impresario.Directing a group of actors.

Learn your lines, don't bump into the furniture—and in kissing scenes, keep your mouth closed.
- Ronald Reagan (1911 - ), U.S. president and actor.Acting tips.
Films Illustrated

Many people have delusions of grandeur but you're deluded by triviality.
- Eugène Ionesco (1909 - 1994), Romanian-born French playwright.
Exit the King

More of an act than an actress.
- Anonymous, Referring to Tallulah Bankhead.

Mr. Liveright, I understand your concern but the performance is not until a week from tomorrow ev-e-nink…yes, we save the atmosphere for a week from tomorrow ev-e-nink.
- Bela Lugosi (1884 - 1956), Hungarian-born U.S. film actor.Said to Horace Liveright, producer of the stage version Dracula, a week before the opening night, which turned out to be a resounding success.
Remark

My only problem is finding a way to play my fortieth fallen female in a different way from my thirty-ninth.
- Barbara Stanwyck (1907 - 1990), U.S. film actor.
Interview (Hedda Hopper)

Never meddle with play-actors, for they're a favoured race.
- Miguel de Cervantes (1547 - 1616), Spanish novelist and dramatist.
Don Quixote

Never work with animals or children.
- Anonymous, Show business maxim.

No more than any menopausal woman of 53 who lives alone and whose contract with the Royal Shakespeare Company is going to end in July.
- Jane Lapotaire (1944 - ), British actor.Reply to the doctor who asked her if she was under stress.
Guardian (London)

No! Not at any price…When I am through with this picture I hope never to hear of Dracula again. I cannot stand it…I do not intend that it shall possess me. No one knows what I suffer from the role.
- Bela Lugosi (1884 - 1956), Hungarian-born U.S. film actor.In response to a request by his agent that he play the Dracula role for 16 weeks in the theater.

Nobody ever dominated a theater like Jolson. And nobody was ever as quick to admit it as he was, either.
- George Burns (1896 - 1996), U.S. comedian and actor.Referring to Al Jolson.
All My Best Friends

People say that Bob allows you the most enormous freedom and that they're creating their own part, which is an enormous lie. Everyone's lining up in the exact direction he wants them to go...you're the same marionette you are with other directors.
- Geraldine Chaplin (1944 - ), U.S. actor.Referring to Robert Altman.
Crowdaddy, Interview

Remember you are a star. Never go across the alley even to dump garbage unless you are dressed to the teeth.
- Cecil B. De Mille (1881 - 1959), U.S. film producer and director

Romance on the High Seas was Doris Day's first picture; that was before she became a virgin.
- Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972), U.S. pianist and actor.
Memoirs of an Amnesiac

She looked as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth—or anywhere else.
- Attributed to Elsa Lanchester (1902 - 1986), British-born U.S. actor.Referring to Maureen O'Hara.

She stole everything but the cameras.
- Attributed to George Raft (1895 - 1980), U.S. actor.Referring to Mae West.

She's not going to walk in here...and turn it into a Golden Sanitary Towel Award Presentation.
- John Osborne (1929 - 1994), British playwright and screenwriter.
The Hotel in Amsterdam

So we think of Marilyn who was every man's love affair with America, Marilyn Monroe who was blonde and beautiful and had a sweet little rinky-dink of a voice and all the cleanliness of all the clean American backyards.
- Norman Mailer (1923 - ), U.S. novelist and journalist.
Marilyn

Some of the greatest love affairs I've known involved one actor—unassisted.
- Attributed to Wilson Mizner (1876 - 1933), U.S. playwright.

Sorry am I to say I have often observed, that I have performed worst when I most ardently wished to do better than ever.
- Sarah Siddons (1755 - 1831), English actor.
Letter to Rev. Whalley

Take that black box away. I can't act in front of it.
- Herbert Beerbohm Tree (1853 - 1917), British actor and theatrical impresario.Referring to the presence of the camera while performing in a silent movie.
Remark

The actor must have no personality at all...You must give the impression that the scenario was never written. That you're inventing it at the precise moment you act it—an elaborate kind of improvisation.
- Jean-Louis Trintignant (1931 - ), French actor.
Films Illustrated, Interview

The art of acting consists in keeping people from coughing.
- Ralph Richardson (1902 - 1983), British actor.
The Observer (London)

The buzz subsides. I have come on stage.
Leaning in an open door
I'll try to detect from the echo
What the future has in store.
- Boris Pasternak (1890 - 1960), Russian poet and novelist.
"Hamlet"

The Face of Venus, the Brains of Minerva and the Hide of a rhinoceros.
- Ethel Barrymore (1879 - 1959), U.S. actor.Describing requirements to be a successful actress.

The future winds no garlands for the actor.
- Friedrich von Schiller (1759 - 1805), German poet, playwright and historian.
The Robbers and Wallenstein

The great ones have a little something extra. To love of the theater, to intelligence and willingness to work, they bring a personal incandescence that cannot be acquired or imitated.
- Brooks Atkinson (1894 - 1984), U.S. drama critic and journalist.Referring to actors.
Broadway

The less you do, the better you do it.
- Marcello Mastroianni (1924 - 1996), Italian film actor.Advice on being a successful actor.
Il Corriere della Sera, Interview

The monster was indeed the best friend I could ever have.
- Boris Karloff (1887 - 1969)
British-born U.S. actor.Referring to his success in the movie role of Frankenstein's monster.

The only thing you owe the public is a good performance.
- Attributed to Humphrey Bogart (1899 - 1957)
U.S. actor.

The only time I really open up is onstage. The mask of performing gives it to me, a place where I hide myself then I can reveal myself.
- Jim Morrison (1943 - 1971), U.S. rock singer and songwriter.

The role of Othello is the biggest strain of all.
- Attributed to Laurence Olivier (1907 - 1989), British actor and director.

The saddest thing I can imagine is to get used to luxury.
- Charlie Chaplin (1889 - 1977), British actor and director.
My Autobiography

The second you step out of the confines of the personality the public has set up for you, they get incensed. Public reaction tends to keep actors as personalities instead of allowing them to act. It's a very corrupting influence.
- Paul Newman (1925 - ), U.S. film actor.
Photoplay

The secret of acting is sincerity. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
- Attributed to George Burns (1896 - 1996), U.S. comedian and actor.

The subtlest acting I've ever seen is by ordinary people trying to show they feel something they don't or trying to hide something. It's something everyone learns at an early age.
- Marlon Brando (1924 - ), U.S. actor.
Newsweek (BBC radio

The Zulus know Chaplin better than Arkansas knows Garbo.
- Charlie Chaplin (1889 - 1977), British actor and director.
Atlantic Monthly

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act.
- Attributed to James Agate (1877 - 1947), British theater critic.

There are those who say I cannot act. And they are right. I cannot act. I am too real.
- Nicol Williamson (1938 - ), British actor.
The Independent on Sunday (London)

There used to be a me behind the mask, but I had it surgically removed.
- Attributed to Peter Sellers (1925 - 1980), British comic actor.

There's no such thing as The Method. The term method-acting is so much nonsense. There are many methods...My father merely used a method of teaching based on the ideas of Stanislavsky—self-discipline, how to think out a role and use imagination.
- Attributed to Susan Strasberg (1938 - ), U.S. actor.Referring to her father, Lee Strasberg, who was the leading teacher of so-called method-acting, in a publicity release for Scream of Fear (1961).

This whole thing is like a cross between a very severe virus and getting married.
- Attributed to Emma Thompson (1959 - ), British actor, 1992.Remark upon receiving the Academy Award (Oscar) for Best Actress for her performance in Howards End (1991).

Those two fellows we created, they were very very nice people...One of the reasons why people like us, I guess, is because they feel superior to us.
- Oliver Hardy (1892 - 1957), U.S. film comedian.Referring to the comic duo he created with Stan Laurel.

Timing! My mother gave me that. I was born with it. I don't think you can teach a person to act.
- Attributed to Charlie Chaplin (1889 - 1977), British actor and director.

To see him act, is like reading Shakespeare by flashes of lightning.
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834), British poet.Referring to Edmund Kean.
Table Talk

Wars, conflict, it's all business. One murder makes a villain. Millions a hero. Numbers sanctify.
- Charlie Chaplin (1889 - 1977), British actor and director.
Monsieur Verdoux

When Buñuel was casting Viridiana he wanted me: "I saw him as a corpse in a film and he was wonderful." So Buñuellian!
- Fernando Rey (1915 - 1994), Spanish film actor.
Knave

When I pass my name in such large letters I blush, but at the same time instinctively raise my hat.
- Attributed to Herbert Beerbohm Tree (1853 - 1917), British actor and theatrical impresario.

When you get the personality, you don't need the nudity.
- Mae West (1892 - 1980), U.S. actor and comedian.
The Observer (London), "Sayings of the Week"

When you're working for a good director, you become subjective and submissive. You become his concubine. All that you seek is his pleasure.
- Donald Sutherland (1934 - ), Canadian-born U.S. film actor.

Where he falls short, 'tis Nature's fault alone;
There he succeeds, the merit's all his own.
- Charles Churchill (1731 - 1764), British poet.Referring to the actor Thomas Sheridan.
The Rosciad

Whether the film is good or bad Brando is always compulsive viewing, like Sydney Greenstreet, the vulgarian of all time, or Peter Lorre, or even Bette Davis daring to do Baby Jane.
- Attributed to Anthony Hopkins (1937 - ), Welsh stage and motion picture actor.Referring to Marlon Brando.

Wonderful women! Have you ever thought how much we all, and women especially, owe to Shakespeare for his vindication of women in these fearless, high-spirited, resolute and intelligent heroines?
- Ellen Terry (1847 - 1928), British actor.
Four Lectures on Shakespeare, "The Triumphant Women"

Words can be deceitful, but pantomime necessarily is simple, clear and direct.
- Marcel Marceau (1923 - ), French mime artist.
Theater Arts

You look at Harrison Ford and you listen. He looks like he's carrying a gun, even if he isn't.
- Carrie Fisher (1956 - ), U.S. actor and writer.
Vanity Fair

Quotations on Achievement

2009-08-14T00:24:00.000-07:00

A nightingale dies for shame if another bird sings better.
- Robert Burton (1577 - 1640), English scholar and churchman.
The Anatomy of Melancholy

Almost everything that is great has been done by youth.
- Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881), British prime minister and writer.
Coningsby

An ornament to her profession.
- John Bunyan (1628 - 1688), English preacher and writer.
The Pilgrim's Progress

Anybody can be Pope; the proof of this is that I have become one.
- John XXIII (1881 - 1963), Italian pope.

Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly at first.
- Robert Downey, Jr. (1965 - ), U.S. actor.
The Charlie Rose Show

Before I was 23, I had conceived everything.
- Carolus Linnaeus (1707 - 1778), Swedish naturalist.
Autobiographical sketch (Neil Tomkinson (tr.))

Europe has never produced and never will in our day bring forth a single human soul who cannot be matched and over-matched in every line of human endeavor by Asia and Africa.
- W. E. B. Du Bois (1868 - 1963), U.S. sociologist, poet, and novelist.
Darkwater: Voices from Within the Veil, "The Souls of White Folk"

Every man who is high up likes to feel that he has done it himself; and the wife smiles, and lets it go at that. It's our only joke. Every woman knows that.
- J. M. Barrie (1860 - 1937), British playwright and novelist.
What Every Woman Knows

For, as I suppose, no man in this world hath lived better than I have done, to achieve that I have done.
- Thomas Malory, English writer.
Le Morte d'Arthur

Happy he who like Ulysses has made a glorious journey.
- Joachim du Bellay (1522? - 1560), French poet.
Les Regrets, Sonnet 31

He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn't be done and he did it.
- Edgar A. Guest (1881 - 1959), British-born U.S. poet and journalist.
The Collected Works of Edgar A. Guest, "It Couldn't Be Done"

How can one catch tiger cubs without entering the tiger's lair?
- Banchao (32 - 102), Chinese diplomat and military leader.

I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the Moon and returning him safely to earth.
- John Fitzgerald Kennedy (1917 - 1963), U.S. president.
Address to joint session of Congress

I don't say he's a great man. Willy Loman never made a lot of money. His name was never in the paper. He's not the finest character that ever lived. But he's a human being, and a terrible thing is happening to him. So attention must be paid.
- Arthur Miller (1915 - ), U.S. playwright.
Death of a Salesman

I got through a number of things in the area of defense, like showing the importance of cruise missiles and getting them more accurate so that we can have precise precision.
- Dan Quayle (1947 - ), U.S. politician.Referring to his achievements as a senator.
The New York Times

I have no hesitation in stating that they were exaggerated or slanted or untrue. We were united by one common bond of interest. We spoke each other's language—and that was the language of pioneer women of the air.
- Ruth Rowland Nichols (1901 - 1961), U.S. pioneer aviator.Referring to press reports about rivalry between herself and Amelia Earhart.
Wings for Life

If I had been born a man I would have conquered Europe.
- Marie Bashkirtseff (1860 - 1884), Russian painter and diarist.Referring to her artistic work.
Journal of a Young Artist

In the elder days of Art,
Builders wrought with greatest care
Each minute and unseen part;
For the gods see everywhere.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882), U.S. poet.
"The Builders"

Is there anything in life so disenchanting as attainment?
- Robert Louis Stevenson (1850 - 1894), Scottish novelist, essayist, and poet.
The New Arabian Nights, "The Adventure of a Hansom Cab"

It is not by spectacular achievements that man can be transformed, but by will.
- Henrik Ibsen (1828 - 1906), Norwegian playwright.
Brand

It is not the least praise to have pleased leading men. Not everyone is lucky enough to get to Corinth.
- Horace (65 - 8 BC), Roman poet.
Epistles

It matters not how long you live, but how well.
- Publilius Syrus (lived 1st century BC), Roman writer.
Maxims (Darius Lyman (tr.))

Never measure the height of a mountain, until you have reached the top. Then you will see how low it was.
- Dag Hammarskjöld (1905 - 1961), Swedish statesman and diplomat.
Markings (Leif Sjöberg and W. H. Auden (trs.))

Now, gentlemen, let us do something today which the world may talk of hereafter.
- Cuthbert Collingwood (1748 - 1810), British admiral, October 21, 1805.Said before the Battle of Trafalgar.

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting.
- Walt Whitman (1819 - 1892), U.S. poet.
Leaves of Grass, "O Captain! My Captain!"

Of course he was a wonderful all-round man, but the act of walking round him has always tired me.
- Max Beerbohm (1872 - 1956), British essayist, critic, and caricaturist.Referring to William Morris.

Of course I realized there was a measure of danger. Obviously I faced the possibility of not returning when first I considered going. Once faced and settled there really wasn't any good reason to refer to it.
- Amelia Earhart (1897 - 1937), U.S. aviator.Referring to her flight in the Friendship.
20 Hours: 40 Minutes—Our Flight in the Friendship

Only that which brings something quite new is really worthy of the name of a book.
- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799), German physicist and writer.

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
- Confucius (551 BC - 479 BC), Chinese philosopher, administrator, and moralist.
Analects

People at the top of the tree are those without qualifications to detain them at the bottom.
- Attributed to Peter Ustinov (1921 - ), British actor, director, and writer.

Promotion should not be more important than accomplishment, or avoiding instability more important than taking the right risk.
- Peter Drucker (1909 - ), Austrian-born U.S. management consultant.

The great law of culture is: Let each become all that he was created capable of becoming.
- Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881), Scottish historian and essayist.
Critical and Miscellaneous Essays, "Jean Paul Friedrich Richter"

The happy state of getting the victor's palm without the dust of racing.
- Horace (65 - 8 BC), Roman poet.
Epistles

The heights by great men reached and kept
Were not attained by sudden flight,
But they, while their companions slept,
Were toiling upward in the night.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882), U.S. poet.
"The Ladder of Saint Augustine"

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882), U.S. poet and essayist.
Essays, Second Series, "New England Reformers"

The secret I learned early on from my father was to run scared and never think I had made it.
- Thomas Watson, Jr. (1914 - 1993), U.S. business executive.

The strategist's method...challenge the prevailing assumptions with a single question: Why? and to put the same question relentlessly to those responsible for the current way of doing things until they are sick of it.
- Kenichi Ohmae, Japanese business strategist.

The world is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit. Try, if you can, to belong to the first class. There's far less competition.
- Dwight Whitney Morrow (1873 - 1931), U.S. diplomat and politician.
Letter to his son

There is an old saying "well begun is half done"—'tis a bad one. I would use instead—Not begun at all 'til half done.
- John Keats (1795 - 1821), British poet.
Letter to Benjamin Robert Haydon

Think nothing done while aught remains to do.
- Samuel Rogers (1763 - 1855), British poet and art collector.
Human Life

To achieve great things we must live as though we were never going to die.
- Vauvenargues (1715 - 1747), French soldier and moralist.
Réflexions et maximes

To those of you who received honors, awards, and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say, you, too, can be president of the United States.
- Speaking at Yale University's commencement, where he received an honorary degree.

Under different circumstances, I could have been Leonardo da Vinci.
- Chris Eubank (1966 - ), British boxer.
The Observer Magazine

When Women write, the Criticks, now-a-days
Are ready, e'er they see, to damn their Plays;
Wit, as the Men's Prerogative, they claim,
And with one Voice, the bold Invader blame.
- Mary Davys (1674 - 1732), English playwright.
The Self-Rival: A Comedy

When you can do the common things of life in an uncommon way you'll command the attention of the world.
- George Washington Carver (1864 - 1943), U.S. inventor and horticulturist.

Who cares about great marks left behind? We have one life, rigidly defined. Just one. One life. We have nothing else.
- Ugo Betti (1892 - 1953), Italian dramatist and poet.
The Inquiry (Gino Rizzo (tr.))

Women can do nothing that has permanence.
- Selma Lagerlöf (1858 - 1940), Swedish writer.
The Miracles of Anti-Christ

Year by year we are becoming better equipped to accomplish the things we are striving for. But what are we actually striving for?
- Bertrand de Jouvenel (1903 - 1987), French political scientist, economist, and journalist.

Yes, I have climbed to the top of the greasy pole.
- Attributed to Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)
British prime minister and writer, 1869.Said after being appointed prime minister.

You can do anything in this world if you are prepared to take the consequences.
- Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965), British writer.
The Circle

You 'd scarce expect one of my age
To speak in public on the stage;
And if I chance to fall below
Demosthenes or Cicero,
Don't view me with a critic's eye,
But pass my imperfections by.
- David Everett (1770 - 1813), U.S. lawyer and writer.Written at the age of seven.
"Lines Written for a School Declamation"

You have to admit that most women who have done something with their lives have been disliked by almost everyone.
- Françoise Gilot (1921 - )
French artist.
Remnant

Quotations on Accidents

2009-08-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

Accident, n. An inevitable occurrence due to the action of immutable natural laws.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914?), U.S. writer and journalist.
The Devil's Dictionary

Accidents will occur in the best-regulated families; and in families not regulated by that pervading influence which sanctifies while it enhances them I would say, in short, by the influence of Woman, in the lofty character of Wife, they may be expected with confidence, and must be borne with philosophy.
- Charles Dickens (1812 - 1870), British novelist.Said by Mr. Micawber.
David Copperfield

As he opened the gate, he noticed me about 800 feet above and in front of him. They both remained motionless, staring. I then realized that my appearance was a bit odd. My right leg was no longer with me...the leather belt which attached it to my body had broken under the strain, and the leg, the Spitfire, and I had all parted company.
- Douglas Bader (1910 - 1982), British aviator and social reformer.On parachuting to safety after a "dog-fight."
Fight for the Sky

Billy, in one of his nice new sashes,
Fell in the fire and was burnt to ashes;
Now, although the room grows chilly,
I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy.
- Harry Graham (1874 - 1936), British writer, poet, and dramatist.
Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes, "Tender-Heartedness"

Don't go into Mr McGregor's garden: your Father had an accident there; he was put in a pie by Mrs McGregor.
- Beatrix Potter (1866 - 1943), British children's writer and illustrator.
The Tale of Peter Rabbit

HAMLET I have shot my arrow o'er the house
And hurt my brother.
- William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), English poet and playwright.
Hamlet Act 5, Scene 2

Heard there was a party. Came.
- Attributed to Beatrice Lillie (1894 - 1989), Canadian-born British actor.On arriving breathlessly at a friend's house seeking help after a car crash.

I was very drunk. I suddenly said, "It's time for our William Tell act. Put a glass on your head."
- William S. Burroughs (1914 - 1997), U.S. writer.Before accidentally killing his wife, by shooting a bullet through her head in a drunken party game.

Marston, dropping it in the grate,broke his pipe.
Nothing hung on this act, it was no symbol
Ludicrous for calamity, but merely ludicrous.
- Stephen Spender (1909 - 1995), British poet and critic.
"Marston, dropping it in the grate, broke his pipe"

My good man, I'm not a strawberry.
- Edward VII (1841 - 1910), British monarch.Rebuking a footman who had spilled cream on him.

now and then
there is a person born
who is so unlucky
that he runs into accidents
which started out to happen
to somebody else.
- Don Marquis (1878 - 1937), U.S. journalist and writer.
archy's life of mehitabel, "archy says"

The chapter of accidents is the longest chapter in the book.
- Attributed to John Wilkes (1725 - 1797), British politician and reformer.

The chapter of knowledge is very short, but the chapter of accidents is a very long one.
- Lord Chesterfield (1694 - 1773), British statesman and writer.
Miscellaneous Works, Letter to Solomon Dayrolles (M. Maty (ed.))

There are no small accidents on this circuit.
- Ayrton Senna (1960 - 1994), Brazilian racecar driver.Remark made before the 1994 San Marino Grand Prix, during which he was killed.
The Independent (London)

"There's been an accident" they said,
"Your servant's cut in half; he's dead!"
"Indeed!" said Mr Jones, "and please
Send me the half that's got my keys."
- Harry Graham (1874 - 1936), British writer, poet, and dramatist.
Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes, "Mr. Jones"

Whenever you fall, pick up something.
- Oswald Theodore Avery (1877 - 1955), Canadian-born U.S. physician and bacteriologist.

Quotations on Academics

2009-08-13T23:58:00.000-07:00

A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
- Attributed to W. H. Auden (1907 - 1973), British poet.

Bald heads, forgetful of their sins,
Old, learned, respectable bald heads...
- W. B. Yeats (1865 - 1939), Irish poet and playwright.
The Wild Swans at Coole, "The Scholars"

Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
- Noam Chomsky, U.S. linguist and political activist.Used by Chomsky to demonstrate that an utterance can be grammatical without having meaning.
Syntactic Structures

In America for a man to become a university professor means that he is too early removed from the necessity of making good on his own among equals.
- Mary Austin (1868 - 1934), U.S. novelist.Referring to President Woodrow Wilson, formerly a professor of jurisprudence at Princeton.
Letter to H. G. Wells

It is not in the power of professors of demonstrative sciences to change their opinions at pleasure, and adopt first one side and then the other.
- Galileo (1564 - 1642), Italian scientist.
Letter to Cristina di Lorena, Grandduchess of Tuscany

The surprising thing about this paper is that a man who could write it would.
- John Littlewood (1885 - 1977), British mathematician.
A Mathematician's Miscellany

There was no light nonsense about Miss Blimber...she was dry and sandy with working in the graves of deceased languages. None of your live languages for Miss Blimber. They must be dead—stone dead—and then Miss Blimber dug them up like a Ghoul.
- Charles Dickens (1812 - 1870), British novelist.
Dombey and Son

They will review a book by a writer much older than themselves as if it were an over-ambitious essay by a second-year student...It is the little dons I complain about, like so many corgis trotting up, hoping to nip your ankles.
- J. B. Priestley (1894 - 1984), British writer.
Outcries and Asides

We landed outside the university, where the dons, whose arguments had so thickly populated the ether that they had seen neither sun nor rain for the past five years.
- Jeanette Winterson (1959 - ), British novelist.
Sexing the Cherry

Best Quotes on Abstinence

2009-08-13T23:57:00.000-07:00

British journalism will not suffer from a little less alcohol.
- Rupert Murdoch, Australian-born U.S. media entrepreneur.Referring to the lack of pubs near The Times's new presses at Wapping in East London.
The Sydney Morning Herald

Deny yourself! You must deny yourself! That is the never-ending song.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832), German poet, playwright, and scientist.
Faust

During all the time that was his life, Mr. Hayman never had a cup of coffee, a smoke, a drink, or a woman and thought he'd be a fool if he did.
- Richard Brautigan (1935? - 1984), U.S. novelist and poet.
Trout Fishing in America

Father, dear father, come home with me now,
The clock in the steeple strikes one.
- Henry Clay Work (1832 - 1884), U.S. songwriter.A temperance song.
"Come Home, Father"

Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living.
- Garrison Keillor, U.S. writer and broadcaster.
Lake Wobegon Days, "Winter"

How many things I can do without!
- Socrates (470? BC - 399? BC), Greek philosopher, 5th century BC.Examining the range of goods on sale at a market.

I prefer temperance hotels—although they sell worse kinds of liquor than any other kind of hotels.
- Artemus Ward (1834 - 1867), U.S. humorist.
Artemus Ward's Lecture

If someone asks for a soft drink at a party, we no longer think he is a wimp.
- Edwina Currie (1946 - ), British politician and novelist.
Speech

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.
- Clement Freud (1924 - ), British broadcaster and writer, December 27, 1964.

It was a brilliant affair; water flowed like champagne.
- Attributed to William M. Evarts (1818 - 1901), U.S. lawyer and statesman.Describing a dinner given by President Rutherford B. Hayes, an advocate of temperance.

My experience through life has convinced me that, while moderation and temperance in all things are commendable and beneficial, abstinence from spirituous liquors is the best safeguard of morals and health.
- Robert E. Lee (1807 - 1870), U.S. general.

Now I have realized that stopping is good;
This morning I have indeed truly stopped.
From this, once having stopped,
I shall go and stop upon the shores of Fusang.
- Tao Qian (365 - 427), Chinese poet.Referring to giving up alcohol.
"Stopping Wine"

She belongs to a Temperance Society and wears one of those badges in the shape of a bow of ribbon to show that she would never take a drink, not even brandy if she were dying. Of course by temperance they all mean the opposite—total abstinence.
- Elizabeth Taylor (1912 - 1975), British novelist and short-story writer.
A Dedicated Man, "Angel"

Teetotallers lack the sympathy and generosity of men that drink.
- W. H. Davies (1871 - 1940), British poet.
Introduction

The most intelligent people are the people of doing without, because they love what Allah loves and dislike the world which Allah dislikes.
- Muhammad (570? - 632?)

The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others.
- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970), British philosopher and mathematician.
Sceptical Essays

There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it.
- Attributed to Mark Twain (1835 - 1910), U.S. writer and humorist.

To abstain from taking life; to abstain from taking what is not given; to abstain from sensuous misconduct; to abstain from false speech; to abstain from intoxicants as tending to cloud the mind.
- Anonymous, The Five Precepts of Buddha.

Quotations on Absense

2009-08-13T23:47:00.000-07:00

A house can be haunted by those who were never there
If there was where they were missed.
- Louis MacNeice (1907 - 1963), Irish-born British poet.
Selected Poems of Louis MacNeice, "Selva Oscura"

Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it inflames the great.
- Bussy-Rabutin (1618 - 1693), French soldier and writer.
Histoire Amoureuse des Gaules

Absence makes the heart grow fonder,
Isle of Beauty, Fare thee well!
- Thomas Haynes Bayly (1797 - 1839), British writer.
Songs, Ballads, and Other Poems, "Isle of Beauty"

And in hotels at night passing from door to door
There is something terrible in all those empty shoes.
- Louis MacNeice (1907 - 1963), Irish-born British poet.
The Collected Poems of Louis MacNeice, "Postscript to Iceland"

He is not here; but far away
The noise of life begins again,
And ghastly thro' the drizzling rain
On the bald street breaks the blank day.
- Alfred Tennyson (1809 - 1892), British poet.
In Memoriam A. H. H.

I lie and imagine the lights going on in the harbour
Of white-housed Náousa, your clear definition at night,
And wish you were here to upstage my disconsolate labour
As I glance through a few thin pages and switch off the light.
- Derek Mahon, Irish poet.
Antartica, "Achill"

I thought I told you to wait in the car.
- Attributed to Tallulah Bankhead (1903 - 1968), U.S. actor.When greeted by a former admirer after many years.

The absence which you glory,
Is that which makes you sorry,
And burn in vain:
For thought is not the weapon,
Wherewith thought's ease men cheapen,
Absence is pain.
- Fulke Greville (1554 - 1628), English courtier and poet.
Caelica, "Caelica"

What's become of Waring
Since he gave us all the slip?
- Robert Browning (1812 - 1889), British poet.
"Waring"

Quotes on Abraham Lincoln

2009-08-13T23:46:00.001-07:00

He said that he was too old to cry, but it hurt too much to laugh.
- Adlai Stevenson (1900 - 1965), U.S. statesman.Quoting Abraham Lincoln.
Speech, after losing the presidential election

Lincoln had faith in time, and time has justified his faith.
- Benjamin Harrison (1833 - 1901), U.S. president.
Lincoln Day Address

Lincoln was not a type. He stands alone—no ancestors, no fellows, no successors.
- Robert G. Ingersoll (1833 - 1899), U.S. lawyer.

Mr. Lincoln is like a waiter in a large eating house where all the bells are ringing at once; he cannot serve them all at once and so some grumblers are to be expected.
- John Bright (1811 - 1889), British politician.Referring to Abraham Lincoln.

Mr. Lincoln's soul seems made of leather, and incapable of any grand or noble emotion...He lowers, he never elevates you.
- Anonymous, New York Post

My heart burned within me with indignation and grief; we could think of nothing else. All night long we had but little sleep, waking up perpetually to the sense of a great shock and grief. Everyone is feeling the same. I never knew such a universal feeling.
- Elizabeth Gaskell (1810 - 1865), British novelist.Referring to the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.
Letter to C. E. Norton

Best Quotations on Abortion

2009-08-13T23:37:00.002-07:00

Abortion leads to an appalling trivialization of the act of procreation.
- Donald Coggan (1909 - 2000), British bishop.

Abortion, for many women, is more than an experience of suffering beyond anything most men will ever know, it is an act of mercy, and an act of self-defense.
- Alice Walker, U.S. novelist and poet.

Abortions will not let you forget.
You remember the children you got that you did not get.
- Gwendolyn Brooks (1917 - 2000), U.S. poet and novelist.

Contrary to the folklore of abortion as life-long trauma, it is not necessarily a profoundly scarring one either.
- Helen Dudar, U.S. writer.

From the moment of conception, the life of every human being is to be respected in an absolute way...no one can, in any circumstance, claim for himself the right to destroy directly an innocent human being.
- Paul VI (1897 - 1978), Italian pope.

If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.
- Florynce R. Kennedy (1916 - 2000), U.S. lawyer and activist, 1973.

I'm opposed to abortion because I happen to believe that life deserves the protection of society.
- Ella Grasso (1919 - 1989), U.S. politician.

Most women decide to have abortions reluctantly, and with trepidation, as the lesser of two evils. No woman has an abortion for fun.
- Joan Smith, British writer and journalist.

Some women behave like harlots; when they feel the life of a child in their wombs, they induce herbs or other means to cause miscarriage, only to perpetuate their amusement and unchastity. Therefore I shall deprive them from everlasting life and send them to everlasting death.
- Saint Bridget of Sweden (1303 - 1373), Swedish visionary.

The greatest destroyer of peace is abortion because if a mother can kill her own child what is left but for me to kill you and you to kill me? There is nothing between.
- Mother Teresa of Calcutta (1910 - 1997), Albanian-born Roman Catholic nun.

The "immorality" of women, favorite theme of misogynists, is not to be wondered at; how could they fail to feel an inner mistrust of the presumptuous principles that men publicly proclaim and secretly disregard?…The one thing they are sure of is this rifled and bleeding womb, the shreds of crimson life, this child that is not there. It is at her first abortion that woman begins to "know."
- Simone de Beauvoir (1908 - 1986), French writer and feminist theorist.

This right of privacy...is broad enough to encompass a woman's decision whether or not to terminate her pregnancy.
- Harry A. Blackmun (1908 - 1999), U.S. associate justice of the Supreme Court.Said during a Supreme Court decision in the Roe v. Wade case concerning the right to abortion, ruling that a woman's right to abortion was constitutionally protected.

Until that day when women, and only women, shall determine which American males must, by law, have vasectomies, then—and only then—will you or any man have the right to determine which American women can have abortions.
- Betty Beale, journalist.

Best Quotes on Ability

2009-08-13T23:37:00.001-07:00

Best quotes on Ability

A genius! For thirty-seven years I've practiced fourteen hours a day, and now they call me a genius!
- Attributed to Pablo Sarasate (1844 - 1908), Spanish violinist and composer.On being hailed as a genius by a critic.

Ability is nothing without opportunity.
- Napoleon I (1769 - 1821), French emperor.

Away with the cant of "Measures not men"!—the idle supposition that it is the harness and not the horses that draw the chariot along. If the comparison must be made, if the distinction must be taken, men are everything, measures comparatively nothing.
- George Canning (1770 - 1827), British prime minister.Speech on the Army estimates.

Even if strength fail, boldness at least will deserve praise: in great endeavors even to have had the will is enough.
- Sextus Propertius, Roman poet.

I have but ninepence in ready money, but I can draw for a thousand pounds.
- Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719), English essayist, poet, and statesman.Comparing his ability to make conversation with his ability to write. Reply to a lady who complained "of his having talked little in company."

If you think you can or think you can't you're probably right.
- Henry Ford (1863 - 1947), U.S. car manufacturer.

In the end, you're measured not by how much you undertake but by what you finally accomplish.
- Donald Trump, U.S. real estate developer.

Instead of the question "What must I do for my employer?" substitute "What can I do?"
- Andrew Carnegie (1835 - 1919), Scottish-born U.S. industrialist and philanthropist. Speech, Curry Commercial College, Pittsburgh

Intelligence is quickness to apprehend as distinct from ability, which is capacity to act wisely on the thing apprehended.
- A. N. Whitehead (1861 - 1947), British philosopher and mathematician

It is all very well to be able to write books, but can you waggle your ears?
- J. M. Barrie (1860 - 1937), British playwright and novelist.Said to H. G. Wells.

It is always pleasant to be urged to do something on the ground that one can do it well.
- George Santayana (1863 - 1952), Spanish-born U.S. philosopher, poet, and novelist.

Pooh began to feel a little more comfortable, because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.
- A. A. Milne (1882 - 1956), British writer.

Take my assets—but leave me my organization and in five years I'll have it all back.
- Alfred P. Sloan, Jr.(1875 - 1966), U.S. business executive and philanthropist

The best that an individual can do is to concentrate on what he or she can do, in the course of a burning effort to do it better.
- Elizabeth Bowen (1899 - 1973), Irish novelist and short-story writer.

The difficult we do at once; the impossible takes a bit longer.
- Anonymous, Inscription on the SeaBees memorial.

The music teacher came twice each week to bridge the awful gap between Dorothy and Chopin.
- Attributed to George Ade (1866 - 1944), U.S. playwright, journalist, author, and humorist.

The older I get the more I admire and crave competence, just simple competence, in any field from adultery to zoology.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956), U.S. journalist, critic, and editor.

The question, "Who ought to be boss?" is like asking "Who ought to be the tenor in the quartet?" Obviously, the man who can sing tenor.
- Henry Ford (1863 - 1947), U.S. car manufacturer.

The superior man is distressed by his want of ability.
- Confucius (551 BC - 479 BC), Chinese philosopher, administrator, and moralist.

There are limits to feats of skill, beyond which lie the realms of nonsense. Everything is quite difficult enough as it is, and what is simple actually comes hardest.
- Hans Werner Henze, German composer.

We never do anything well till we cease to think about the manner of doing it.
- William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830), British essayist and critic.

Yet had Fleming not possessed immense knowledge and an unremitting gift of observation he might not have observed the effect of the hyssop mould. "Fortune," remarked Pasteur, "favors the prepared mind."
- André Maurois (1885 - 1967), French novelist and biographer.Referring to Alexander Fleming and Louis Pasteur.

Penners and Inkers

2009-08-13T10:12:00.001-07:00

Journalists are people who take in other people's washing and then sell it.
- Marjorie Barnard and Flora Eldershaw, Australian writing team

He has occasional flashes of silence that make his conversation perfectly delightful.
- British clergyman Sydney Smith on Thomas Babington Macaulay

I do not hate the critics. I have nothing but compassion for them. How can I hate the crippled, the mentally deficient and the dead?
- Albert Finney, British actor

God created the poet, then took a handful of the rubbish left over and made the critics
- T.J.Thomas

Dear Randolph, utterly unspoilt by failure.
- Noel Coward on Winston's son, writer Randolph Churchill

The triumph of sugar over diabetes.
- American drama critic George Jean Nathan on the works of British writer J.M Barrie

I would praise Joad's new book, but modesty forbids.
- Bertrand Russel on fellow British philosopher C.E.M. Joad

Who can define him? His style is chaos illuminated by flashes of lightning. As a writer he has mastered everything except language; as a novelist he can do everything except tell a story. As an artist he is everything except articulate.
- Oscar Wilde, Irish playwright and wit on British novelist George Meredith

Time is the only critic without ambition
- John Steinbeck, American writer

This film wasn't released. It escaped.
- James Caan, American actor

It is only an auctioneer who can equally and impartially admire all schools of art.
- Oscar Wilde, Irish playwright and wit.

Movers, Warblers and Other Noise Makers

2009-08-13T10:05:00.000-07:00

Far too noisy, my dear Mozart, far too many notes...
- Archduke Ferdinand of Austria on Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera.
- James Stephens, critic

Modern music is just noise with attitude
- Patrick Murray, British actor

This man has child-bearing lips
- American comedian Joan Rivers on Mick Jagger

After Rossini dies, who will there be to promote his music?
- German composer Richard Wagner on Italian composer Gioacchino Rossini

Human by Correspondence

2009-08-13T09:49:00.000-07:00

He is a self-made man and worships his creator.
- British statesman John Bright on Benjamin Disraeli

The Prime Minister has an absolute genius for putting flamboyant labels on empty luggage.
- British politician Aneurin Bevan on Harold Macmillan

Giving money and power to the government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
- P.J O'Rourke, American writer

Tony Blair has pushed moderation to extremes
- Robert MacLennan, Scottish politician

His ear is so sensitively attuned to the bugle note of history that he is often deaf to the more raucous clamor of modern life.
- British Labour Politician Aneurin Bevan on Winston Churchill

John Major is the only man who ran away from the circus to become an accountant.
- Edward Pearce, British writer

A statesman is a dead politician. We need more statesmen.
- Bob Edwards, American radio host

Most politicians look like people who have become human by correspondence course.
- A.A Gill, British columnist

All political parties die at last swallowing their own lies.
- John Arbuthnot, Scottish writer and physician

In pierre Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a politician worthy of assassination.
- Irving Layton, canadian poet

Politicians are like nappies. They should be changed regularly and for the same reason.
- Patrick Murray, British actor

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, order more tunnel.
- John Quintan, British commentator

Poor George. He can't help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth.
- Ann Richards, former Governor of Texas

George Bush's problem is that the clothes have no emperor
- Anna Quindlen, American writer

Foreigners and Their Parts

2009-08-13T09:38:00.000-07:00

America is a society which believes that God is dead but Evil is alive.
- Irving Kupcinet, American columnist

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence to never practice either of them.
- Mark Twain, American writer

There won't be any revolution in America... the people are too clean. They spend all their time changing their shirts and washing themselves. You can't feel fierce and revolutionary in a bathroom.
- Eric Linklater, British writer

Britain has invented a new missile. It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired.
- Walter Walker, British general

I like the English. The English may not like music, but they absolutely love the noise it makes.
- Thomas Beecham, British conductor

Heaven is and English policeman, a French cook, a German engineer, an Italian lover and everything organized by the Swiss. Hell is an English cook, a French engineer, a German policeman, a swiss lover and everything organized by Italians
- John Elliot, American songwriter

An Iranian moderate is one who has run out of ammunition.
- Henry Kissinger, German-American politician

The high standards of Australians are due to the fact that their ancestors were all handpicked by the best English judges.
- Douglas Copland, Canadian novelist

The Body Beautiful

2009-08-13T09:33:00.000-07:00

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome. But I think of it as the only time of the month I can be myself.
- Roseanne Barr, American comedian

Seize the moment. Think of all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.
- Erma Bombeck, American humorist

Think of me as a sex symbol who doesn't give a damn.
- Phyllis Diller, American comedian

The tautness of his face sours ripe grapes.
- William Shakespeare, British dramatist

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemeum.
- P.G Wodehouse, British writer

She is a peacock in everything but beauty.
- Oscar Wilde, Irish playwright and wit

Men and women on Boys and Girls

2009-08-13T09:23:00.000-07:00

Tired mothers find that spanking takes less time than reasoning and penetrates sooner to the seat of memory.
- Will Durant, American historian

There are a few things more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.
- Doug Larson, British racer

The worst eternal triangle known is: teenager, parent and telephone
- Lavonne Mathison, American writer

Never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble.
- Martin Mull, American actor

The only sense I can make out of having kids is that it's a good way to become a grandparent.
- Ralph Noble, American writer

Don't have sex, man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to talk to them.
- Steve Martin, American comedian

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
- Lawrence J. Peter, American writer famous for The Peter Principle, he management law that states that everyone is promoted up to the point where they reach their level of incompetence.

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.
- Florida Scott-Maxwell, American journalist

Parents are not interested in justice; they are interested in peace and quiet.
- Bill Cosby, American comedian

Babies don't need a vacation but I still see the beach. I'll go over to a little baby and say, 'What are you doing here? You've never worked a day in your life.'
- Steven Wright, American comedian

Women on Women and Men

2009-08-13T09:20:00.001-07:00

There is so little difference between husbands that you might as well keep the first.
- Adela Rogers Saint-Johns, American writer

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
- Mae West, American actor

When a man makes woman his wife, it's the highest compliment he can pay her, and it's usually the last.
- Helen Rowland, American journalist

Men on Men and Women

2009-08-13T09:08:00.000-07:00

My wife finds it hard to envision me as the end product of millions of years of evolution.
- Bob Barnes, American cartoonist

Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right
- Woody Allen, American film maker, comic and writer

Of all my wife's relations I like myself the best
- Joe Cook, American actor

Brigands demand your money or your life - women require both.
- Samuel Butler, British writer

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker.
- Woody Allen, American film maker, comic and writer

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices until she hasn't done it.
- Evan Esar, American humorist

Have I ever paid for sex? Only emotionally
- Lee Hurst, British comedian

I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.
- Bernard Manning, British comedian

I will not allow my daughters to learn foreign languages because on tongue is sufficient for a woman.
- John Milton, British poet

Under 21 women are protected by law; over 65 they're protected by nature; anything in between is fair game.
- Cary Grant, American actor

God made Adam before Eve because he didn't want any advice on the matter.
- Patrick Murray, British actor

Making a living 2

2009-08-13T08:57:00.000-07:00

The general advertiser's attitude would seem to be: if you are a lousy, smelly, idle, under-priviliged, overweight and oversexed status-seeking moron, give me your money.
- Kenneth Bromfield, American writer

I have never been in a situation where having money made it worse.
- Clinton Jones, American footballer

When you've got them by their wallets, their hearts and minds will follow.
- American wit Fern Naito famously paraphrased by Richard Nixon as 'If you've got them by balls, their hearts and minds will follow.'

We don't just honour credit cards, we venerate them!
- Dale McFeathers, American journalist

Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions no-one has asked them.
- Leo Tolstoy, American actor

In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.
- Katheleen Norris, American novelist

Part of the $10 million I spent on gambling, part on booze and part on women. The rest I spent foolishly.
- George Raft, American actor

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and tax it out of business?
- Will Rogers, American humorist

Making a Living

2009-08-13T08:50:00.000-07:00

Money is something that you have got to make in case you don't die.
- Max Asnas, Russian-American restaurateur

It is better to give than to lend, and it costs about the same.
- Philip Gibbs, English writer

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
- Oscar Wilde, Irish playwright and wit

They were a people so primitive that they did not know how to get money except by working for it.
- Joseph Addison, English essayist

An expert is someone who has made all the mistakes that can be made, but in a very narrow field.
- Niels Bohr, Danish atomic physicist

They say it's better to be poor and happy than to be rich and miserable. But couldn't some compromise be worked out, like being moderately wealthy and just a little money?
- John Henry, American futures trader

I don't know much about being a millionaire but I'll bet I'd be a darling at it.
- Dorothy Parker, American journalist, writer and all-round wit

The world is filled with willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them
- Robert Frost, American poet

It's Good to be Bad

2009-08-13T08:44:00.000-07:00

There's nothing like good food, good wind a bad girl
- Robin Williams, American actor and comedian

Have you heard about the Irishman who joined Alcoholics Anonymous?
He still drinks, but under a different name.
-Aubrey Dillon, Malone, British wirter

I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter.
-Steven Peral, American comic

After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations.
- Oscar Wilde, Irish Playwright and Wit