Quotations on Accidents

Accident, n. An inevitable occurrence due to the action of immutable natural laws.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914?), U.S. writer and journalist.
The Devil's Dictionary

Accidents will occur in the best-regulated families; and in families not regulated by that pervading influence which sanctifies while it enhances them I would say, in short, by the influence of Woman, in the lofty character of Wife, they may be expected with confidence, and must be borne with philosophy.
- Charles Dickens (1812 - 1870), British novelist.Said by Mr. Micawber.
David Copperfield

As he opened the gate, he noticed me about 800 feet above and in front of him. They both remained motionless, staring. I then realized that my appearance was a bit odd. My right leg was no longer with me...the leather belt which attached it to my body had broken under the strain, and the leg, the Spitfire, and I had all parted company.
- Douglas Bader (1910 - 1982), British aviator and social reformer.On parachuting to safety after a "dog-fight."
Fight for the Sky

Billy, in one of his nice new sashes,
Fell in the fire and was burnt to ashes;
Now, although the room grows chilly,
I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy.
- Harry Graham (1874 - 1936), British writer, poet, and dramatist.
Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes, "Tender-Heartedness"

Don't go into Mr McGregor's garden: your Father had an accident there; he was put in a pie by Mrs McGregor.
- Beatrix Potter (1866 - 1943), British children's writer and illustrator.
The Tale of Peter Rabbit

HAMLET I have shot my arrow o'er the house
And hurt my brother.
- William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), English poet and playwright.
Hamlet Act 5, Scene 2

Heard there was a party. Came.
- Attributed to Beatrice Lillie (1894 - 1989), Canadian-born British actor.On arriving breathlessly at a friend's house seeking help after a car crash.

I was very drunk. I suddenly said, "It's time for our William Tell act. Put a glass on your head."
- William S. Burroughs (1914 - 1997), U.S. writer.Before accidentally killing his wife, by shooting a bullet through her head in a drunken party game.

Marston, dropping it in the grate,broke his pipe.
Nothing hung on this act, it was no symbol
Ludicrous for calamity, but merely ludicrous.
- Stephen Spender (1909 - 1995), British poet and critic.
"Marston, dropping it in the grate, broke his pipe"

My good man, I'm not a strawberry.
- Edward VII (1841 - 1910), British monarch.Rebuking a footman who had spilled cream on him.

now and then
there is a person born
who is so unlucky
that he runs into accidents
which started out to happen
to somebody else.
- Don Marquis (1878 - 1937), U.S. journalist and writer.
archy's life of mehitabel, "archy says"

The chapter of accidents is the longest chapter in the book.
- Attributed to John Wilkes (1725 - 1797), British politician and reformer.

The chapter of knowledge is very short, but the chapter of accidents is a very long one.
- Lord Chesterfield (1694 - 1773), British statesman and writer.
Miscellaneous Works, Letter to Solomon Dayrolles (M. Maty (ed.))

There are no small accidents on this circuit.
- Ayrton Senna (1960 - 1994), Brazilian racecar driver.Remark made before the 1994 San Marino Grand Prix, during which he was killed.
The Independent (London)

"There's been an accident" they said,
"Your servant's cut in half; he's dead!"
"Indeed!" said Mr Jones, "and please
Send me the half that's got my keys."
- Harry Graham (1874 - 1936), British writer, poet, and dramatist.
Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes, "Mr. Jones"

Whenever you fall, pick up something.
- Oswald Theodore Avery (1877 - 1955), Canadian-born U.S. physician and bacteriologist.