Foreigners and Their Parts

America is a society which believes that God is dead but Evil is alive.
- Irving Kupcinet, American columnist

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence to never practice either of them.
- Mark Twain, American writer

There won't be any revolution in America... the people are too clean. They spend all their time changing their shirts and washing themselves. You can't feel fierce and revolutionary in a bathroom.
- Eric Linklater, British writer

Britain has invented a new missile. It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired.
- Walter Walker, British general

I like the English. The English may not like music, but they absolutely love the noise it makes.
- Thomas Beecham, British conductor

Heaven is and English policeman, a French cook, a German engineer, an Italian lover and everything organized by the Swiss. Hell is an English cook, a French engineer, a German policeman, a swiss lover and everything organized by Italians
- John Elliot, American songwriter

An Iranian moderate is one who has run out of ammunition.
- Henry Kissinger, German-American politician

The high standards of Australians are due to the fact that their ancestors were all handpicked by the best English judges.
- Douglas Copland, Canadian novelist